Eleve'

Apparently the discussion of dancing in a previous post was confusing. Greg immediatly thought it was a metaphor and when I explained I was serious he was a bit shocked. Then he took it to mean Im going clubbing. Ummmm.... thats not it either.

My longest existing friendships all developed in and after high school and so my earlier history is rarely thought about or discussed. So here is an opertunity for a history lesson.

My first two years were very quiet and peaceful. I didnt talk. I didnt babble. I didnt cry. I didnt see. But I listened intently. I was content and well looked after. When my mother came home with my brother, I threw my dolls out of thier bassinet and placed it next to my mother. I then clearly said to her. "Hes my baby." I was insistant upon it for a long time.

This is when my stuborn streak first became apparent and there was always a challenge to put my mother through. The next challange that I know of came about a year and a half later when my aunt sent me a pair of clogs from the netherlands. I loved those shoes. They were special. So special that they were my self appointed sunday shoes. If we were dressing up for God then I was going to wear my special shoes. My mother could not reason it any other way. I wore my clogs to church

Clomp. Clomp. Clomp. Every little step reverberating gloriously through the grand cathedrial hall. It was music to me. Not so much to those there seeking the peace and solace of sanctuary. It didnt help that I was , although quiet, I was also very wiggly and the clogs would repeatedly be tapping against the floor or outright falling off my foot with a resounding thud all during mass.

After a few trips, dirty looks from parisioners, and my father saying "enough" I was no longer allowed to wear my most special shoes to the most special place. I didnt understand and was very upset about it. Mom, being the clever lady she is, quickly took me someplace where everybody had happy special musical shoes.. tap class. Shuffle ball tap. Shuffle ball tap. I didnt stay in tap long. A season or two. But I didnt love it. Mom then swapped me to Jazz. I was older and my attention had gone from the sounds I was putting out to the sounds that were coming in and jazz music was so much better. My first real recital was to a song by Queen called "Crazy little thing called love" .

Not long after we would move to lovelock where there were no dance class options. There wasnt much at all. Except teen pregnancy. I was in 3rd-5th grade. It was the early 80s. We are talking the era of break dancing and punk! I had my walkman for home and someone always had a boom box on the playground or on the bus.

Then to Carson midway through 5th. I went into sports. Started in softball and was nearly fatally injured.

After recovery I returned to dance and through jr high did both ballet and jazz classes daily. It was such an akward age. I was still very reserved. I wasnt really friends with my fellow dancers and I was very gangly. But the discipline was good for me and I liked having the opertunity to hyperfocus on nothing but the way I moved. Then the teachers changed. Classes began to implement pyschogical exercises into the practice. Wed sit in a circle and tell eachother what we didnt like about eachother. Then wed tell each other a positive thing. WtF? Im 13. Im a complete loaner and this is not helping. And there ended my dancing career.

Not to long after is when my autoimmune stuff started kicking in harder. I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue. In highschool, I would letter in riflery and tennis. And I also attended modeling school.

I was in the top 7%:of my class. I was a member of the Young Republicans, Youth on Fire Jesus Club, student against drunk driving, science club and a host of others.

Anyway.... dance was very important to me and is a cornerstone of! how I move and interact with the world.

Another interesting thing I notice looking back, a lot of the times I have gotten severely injured was when I have engaged in more masculine leaning sports and things ◇(except for surfing)◇ I want to avoid that.